10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986