10 Random Poker Quotes

• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• The only way to win is to play. Unfortunetly, it is also the only way to loose.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.