10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.