10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.