10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth