10 Random Poker Quotes

• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.