10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.