10 Random Poker Quotes

• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Poker is for fat, American losers.