10 Random Poker Quotes
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More Random Quotes- Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
- Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
- Why not, when some because there are three.
- Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
- Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
- You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine.
- T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
- I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
- "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
- All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
- How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.