10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• I suck, therefore I suck out. North Shore Mike
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"