10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson