10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright