10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-