10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)