10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)