10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "You will show your poker greatness by the hands you fold, not the hands you play." -Dan Reed
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• "I had 2 high." -Sammy Farha
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)