10 Random Poker Quotes

• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Why not, when some because there are three.