10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"