10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is for loners.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.