10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Welcome to kicker school
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]