10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.