10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)