10 Random Poker Quotes

• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.