10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"