10 Random Poker Quotes

• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!