10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." --Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."