10 Random Poker Quotes

• Fook the floosh droo!
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson