10 Random Poker Quotes

• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.