10 Random Poker Quotes

• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they know what they are doing, but only a few are actually good at it.- "Dutch" Boyd
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.