10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus