10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• "The lucky player is usually the player that knows how much to leave to chance." flintsword
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."