10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."