10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "No river, no fish."
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• in the poker game of life women are the rake