10 Random Poker Quotes

• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."