10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.