10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Great poker players are separated from good poker players not by how they win their hands, but how they lose them.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"