10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Welcome to kicker school
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003