10 Random Poker Quotes

• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls