10 Random Poker Quotes

• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "If you want to know what lies on the road ahead, ask the man whos on the way back" anon
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• "I got a full house! Whatchu got, sucker?" "Gee, does that beat me? All I got is two pair: a pair-a ones...and, uh, ANUDDA pair-a ones." -Nasta Canasta & Bugs Bunny, "Barbary Coast Bunny"
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.