10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977