10 Random Poker Quotes

• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Kiddie games down the street! -- mike matusow
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.