10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"