10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• If you could lose all of your money again... what would you have done differently?
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."