10 Random Poker Quotes

• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.