10 Random Poker Quotes

• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• when i folded an A-7 suited under the gun which would've ended up giving me the small end of a mini jackpot, my dad said, "yeah, if i would've driven to Tucson, I would've found that diamond ring. But i don't drive to Tucson."
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.