10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)