10 Random Poker Quotes

• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If there was no luck involved I'd win every time. - Phil Hellmuth
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• When you're drawing dead, you always get there.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."