10 Random Poker Quotes

• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."