10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Some people ask "what could they possibly call me with" before making a bet. I don't ask that question. I just make the bet and let them supply the answer. - Action Bob