10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from